Eternal Sunshine of the Broken Mind
by dattebayo1213
Summary: A Naruto childhood fic. How Naruto's childhood truly was, no matter what he told anyone else.


Eternal Sunshine of the Broken Mind: Chapter 1

By: dattebayo1213

Chapter 1: Title Unknown

Naruto's POV

Their stares dug into me like knives, cutting through the thin layers of defense I had erected around myself. Instead of blood, which flows when normal knives cut, I felt my very essence draining away, and with each step, they dug in deeper. I walked to my seat as quickly as I possibly could without raising any suspicion and sat down; eyes staring at the floor, hands folded in my lap and lifted my eyes to the teacher's. Iruka allowed me a small smile, and went on teaching, lecturing the young, impressionable minds around me about weapons and hate. Hate is what they felt for me. I knew it, he knew it, and it was painfully obvious. I smiled widely at everyone who stared at me. The façade was becoming instinctive.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and a piece of paper, most probably torn out of a notebook, shoved into my hand. "You okay?" It read. I allowed myself a moment to smile and wrote back. I knew who had sent me the note, and I wrote back. "Eh… normal. But what is normal?" She and I often engaged in philosophical debates such as this during class, and when we met in the park as well. She challenged me to think, no matter how trivial the points she argued were, and no matter how quietly she said them.

I grinned and looked around, only to find the rest of the class bending over their work, answering questions on a random topic. I felt the paper being shoved into my hand again. "We're doing page 256, questions 1-3. Just wanted to let you know." I drew a smiley face lazily on the edge of the note and pushed it back across the table, pulling a sheet of paper out of my bag to write the questions on as well as the book.

I stared at the first one. This class defeated the meaning of the word easy. What kind of questions were they asking? "What is a kunoichi?" A kunoichi is a female ninja. Obviously. How dumb is that? Number 2, "What is the purpose of ninja?" The purpose of ninja is to serve their Kage and Daimyo. Number 3, "What is the 25th rule of the shinobi code?" This was my least favorite rule, out of the many hundreds that existed. I lived by this rule, fanatically even. "Do not allow your emotions to interfere with your mission." This was my mission, and I was not going to let my emotions get mixed up in it.

After sitting alone at lunch, and causing quite a few disruptions, I was out of there. It's a bird! It's a plane! "It's… Naruto Uzumaki…" I thought in my head. After about 10 minutes of running, I knocked on the door to the Hokage's office. "Come in." I heard him say, and I walked in, dragging my feet. "Afternoon, Naruto. How are you?"

"Fine." I replied. "Nothing out of the normal today. Everyone did what Iruka said, and no one got in trouble. Except me." "For what?" he asked. "I caused a distraction. Things were getting too quiet."

"Hm. I also need to speak with you about something else. According to the agency, your social worker visit didn't go as expected last month. Their report states that you threatened the poor man with death if he didn't leave your apartment." The Hokage said, all the while staring at me.

"He was mean." I replied. "He told me I shouldn't be alive. That I should have been killed. And I told him he should be killed as well."

"Naruto… Use your words! You're already eight… nine years old! Act your age for once!" He said harshly. I squirmed in my seat, and seeing this conversation as utterly pointless to pursue further, left.

On the way home, as I always do, I stopped at the park. Sitting carefully on one of the swings, I pushed myself off of the ground, just to experience the wave of pure exhilaration it brought. Lost in my own thoughts, I kept swinging until I heard a small voice call, "Naruto? Are you busy?"

I turned my head to identify my mystery person. "Never too busy for you, Hinata-chan." She blushed, and I said, "Thanks for the notes today." "You're… w…e…we…lcome, Naruto-kun." She sat on the swing next to me, and swung in the same way she lived her life. Carefully, quietly and hoping and wishing that she wouldn't fall down.

I studied her face as she swung, blissfully oblivious of my gaze. She smiled slightly and her cheeks were red, whether from the cold, or my greeting was uncertain. Her hair fell slightly into her eyes as the wind blew straight into her face. Nothing like me. I was a wreck on the best days, but the genjutsu hid that. The only ones I trusted to see my real appearance were Shikamaru and Hinata. In real life, I was just about 5 feet, and my blonde hair fell into my eyes. It stayed relatively flat, and I wore black more than I appeared to wear orange. You see, black suited, and still does, suit me. I'm a somber person, and bright colors affect others' ability to take me seriously.

But it was Hinata. So, for her, I released the genjutsu that had been draining me all day, slowly, but surely. She gasped as she saw my bloodshot eyes, and the black bags beneath them, betraying my nights spent awake, staring out my window and wondering whether anyone cared.

But she did. And that was enough for me. It was getting quite dark outside, so I walked her home. We chatted about the most trivial things- her family, my desperate need of a haircut, her friends, my friends, my lack of interest in vegetables and others. And about the ramen deal, that's all that I can afford. I love vegetables when I can get them. Operative words- **when I can get them.**

I dropped her off and made my own way home, to my own soft bed, and a night of dreams. Hopefully I'd stay safe. Hokage-sama was right. Eternal sunshine was the best façade, because light was what hid the darkness within me so well.


End file.
